When you are ready

We share a love

You and I

Bound by

An unbreakable cord tied by the fates

So do not hide yourself behind a life once lived

With  its memories overshadowed by shame

It has been  hidden too long

Beneath the ribbons that bind  it in its guilt

Allow me to lift  the burden that weighs down your heart

Let my  love rid you of its torment

Of this  life once  lived

Its memories now belong to its past

For we now have today  and a tomorrow

New memories to forge

And  for when you ready

I will be here (as always)

With my heart brimming with love (ready to heal you)

And arms open (ready to hold you)

With shoulders so broad (they will soak up yours tears)

When you are ready

I will be here.

©Copyright 2014 by June Bolland

My Muse

Attempt to understand  the truth  of all those words I have said in the cold light of the day

and for all the promises that  I have whispered , on  those dark moon filled nights

I have shared with you

They speak nothing but love for you

And for all the times I have layed bare my soul upon the page

see that every word, every sentence

They are nothing more than the lyrics of the songs from my heart

That sings only to you

My words are only for you

You are my listener, my reader and  my muse

©Copyright 2014 by June Bolland

Winter Night slumber

The bleakness that coats the cold winter days

Is all too soon eclipsed by the blackness of even colder nights

Winter storms ravage the nature of the land

As rain pounds against the glass

I lie on top of you

Rested is my weary head, as it settles upon your breast

I listen to beats of your now calmed heart

As they send me to my slumber

Safe, nestled, cradled within the softness of your arms

©Copyright 2014 by June Bolland

Snap, Write, Blog…

As I said in my previous post, New Year , a time for reflection , taking stock and re-valuating things. So over the last week I have been taking stock, reflecting and jotting down things , projects I want /need to do . I think it’s important for each of us to set goals , to push ourselves , whether mentally or physically and not make excuses in not having the time to do things that make us happy. Even if you only have 15 minutes   a day, you can begin the process .

Anyway on personal  note I KNOW I need a leave of absence from social media for a while; feeling too tangled up (on Facebook right now) than is healthy for me, so started off the process of weaning myself away from it, which has  begun with cleansing  some of my friends off Facebook . Not because they’re not nice people, its just that there was no mutual social interaction , so I really didn’t see the point of justifying having them as friends on Facebook !

Then there is my blog , when I originally started I had no idea of how it would develop. Whether it would be me posting the odd rant every so often. It ended up with me sharing poetry ( I have no idea how or why it happened) but I’m glad it did. It got the creative juices flowing. I’m very self critical of my ‘writing’ , I don’t have the self belief in thinking that my poems are remotely any good , never mind even just OK.

This year I want to set myself a challenge with the blog, I have some idea’s on how I want it to develop , whether it will be more poetry , or more journal based I’m  not sure yet .

But then I might  actually start sharing photograph’s . Its a passion I  had  over 30 years ago, and recently I’ve been wanting to explore it again.

When I was in my late teens I ate ,lived , breathed photography, I was lucky enough to have two exhibitions of my work shown in Manchester, which were really  successful . I wanted to pursue it as a career, so I study photography as an ‘A ‘level,  built my portfolio up and I got accepted to study Photography at Manchester Polytechnic when I was 21 ,but never accepted the place on the course ,as my mum became really ill and life’s priorities changed. It was then put the camera away and stopped taking photographs . But always  I still look at things from the view point that there an image , a photograph waiting to be captured  Its very much the same when it comes to words or observations , I see the format of a poem or a blog .

My partner has been aware that there has been this niggle for quite a few months now, but I suppose self doubt and the knowledge that there is unfortunately an element  of snobbery that exists when it comes to photography , I don’t know whether I have still what it takes. But as my partner says ” How do you know until you give it a go and try “. So for Christmas she bought me a new camera and told me ” You no longer have an excuse , go take some photographs, build your confidence back up!”  ( Nice to know she believes in me !)

So yes I have a list of projects  I want to do this year. A hundred ideas on blogs and poems I want to write. I have no idea when they will come to fruition . As they say time will tell.

Is life really so bad?

I hadn’t realised it been just over 2 months since I posted my last blog.

To be honest haven’t wanted to write anything that requires me to think. I’ve been dealing with an old back injury and trying to manage my Fibromyalgia, which flared up and repaid me an unwelcome visit last July. So currently having intense physio and attending a pain management clinic , just so I can really stop relying on the pain meds and also get off the anti-depressants, because with having Fibro and dealing with chronic pain comes depression, it’s a vicious circle . But in my experience you mustn’t dwell on the negative. Positivity, having a sense of humour being able to laugh is the key to beating pain, harder said than done, cos trust me belly laughs hurt.

Anyway so here we are, Christmas is over, 2013 has gone, and so a brand new shiny Year awaits to be filled with new memories. But I felt the need to write something today, for two reasons really

One because it’s a New Year .I love New Year, it a time to take stock, reflect, and set yourself new challenges. However going back to work, and listening to conversations, I am amazed at how many people whinge, moan about a variety of things life throws at them. They moan about work, money, etc., etc. Don’t get me wrong I love a good rant, but it’s usual about the way people behave, how they conduct themselves, about how injustice exists because of their behaviour.

Yet not one rejoices on the fact they are alive, well , probably happy sharing their life with someone they love, with no real hardship because they have a roof over their head and a bed to sleep in , clean clothes on their back and a belly so full of food. A head that has the luxury to dream, create ,have choices to do, be anything, find a balance of putting up with the crap life throws at them and being content they have an outlet to express themselves, they have the luxury of time to write lists of future plans, a bucket list. But instead people, they wallow in self-pity, why can’t people just be happy they have their health, a future.

Secondly I write this because my partner who is a sister in a large cancer hospital , she works on the a teenage cancer ward, every day she and her staff tend , nurse patients who aren’t let’s face not going to get well . On Thursday she went back to work and one of her patients is a young man, he’s 15, he’s been ill and in hospital since November, he and his parents were told that he probably won’t make it to July. So she spent the majority of the day comforting him and his parents. This young adult who will never know that feeling of being in love, of having children, be able to moan about the 9 to 5 and the rat race, will never be able to write lists of things he wants to do.

Sort of puts life in perspective really doesn’t it?